if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
