Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
