Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize