He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
