Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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