Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
