i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
