My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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