I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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