dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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