I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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