I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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