Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
