True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How naked do you want me to be?
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