If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
