i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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