Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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