Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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