They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
