I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and she was petting her beer can
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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