Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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