I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
