Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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