Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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