hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
