Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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