Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
