so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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