I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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