the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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