dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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