i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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