Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
