Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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