yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
