She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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