My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
