I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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