do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize