This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
