party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
