How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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