why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
