i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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