After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
