it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
