is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
