Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
