I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
