Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
