i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My vagina just recognized that song.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
