sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
