In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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