I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
