dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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