R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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