I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
