I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
